Hangover Jokes and How to Prevent Hangovers

Hope you enjoy these hangover jokes!

Hangover Jokes

    • hangover jokesI drank too much alcohol at the airport last night. So now I have a terminal hangover.
    • He asked “What’s this? Will it cure my hangover??” “It’s a breathlyzer, sir,” said the officer. “Please step out of your vehicle.”
    • I think Greek food should cure my hangover. Yet it never works…. I still falafel.
    • hangover jokesWhat did the drunk ask his friend? “Can I hangover at your place?”
    • Last Sunday morning I was awakened by my neighbor’s mower going at 7:00 o’clock. I had a terrible hangover so I let him cut around me.
    • What’s the best way to avoid a hangover? Stay drunk! 
    • hangover jokesI have A.D.H.D. It’s Alcohol Drinking and Hangover Disorder. 
    • A hangover is a wrath of grapes. 
    • What do you call a hangover when you’re alone in Spain? Barf-a-lona
    • I had such a massive hangover this morning. I just stood in the shower for nearly an hour…Finally, I gathered the strength to turn it on.
    • I’m a recovering alcoholic…Recovering from a hangover.
    • hangover jokesWhat’s the best thing for a hangover? Drink heavily the night before.
    • Beer is the best cure for hangovers. That’s because it’s good for what ales you.
    • I’ve started a new religion based on drinking absenthe. But I miss a lot of work…..It’s called absinthe-theism.
    • Already accomplished my New Year’s resolution. It was to survive the New Year’s Day’s hangover. 

How Can I Get Over a Hangover Fast?

Many people suggest the following.

Strong black coffee won’t work!
    • Drink strong black coffee.
    • Take a cold shower.
    • Drink water.
    • Sweat
    • Get fresh air.
    • Eat food.
    • Vomit
    • Take a multi-vitamin.
    • Use a pill sold to increase metabolism.

In fact, none of these ideas helps get over a hangover. The only thing that helps is time.

Blood alcohol concentration (BAC) drops at the rate of .015 of BAC every hour. And it’s virtually the same for everyone. So height, weight, gender, race, and ethnicity doesn’t matter.

BAC drops 0.015 of BAC every hour.  So a person with a BAC of 0.15 will have no alcohol in the blood after ten hours. That is, 0.15 divided by .015 = 10. 

Similarly, a driver with a BAC of 0.08 will have no alcohol in the blood after 5.33 hours. Again, 0.08 divided by 0.015 = 5.33

How Can I Prevent Hangovers?

    • Drink in moderation. (See below for tips.)
    • Choose clear alcoholic beverages. Examples include vodka and gin.1 Darker beverages make hangovers worse. Examples include dark beer and red wine.
    • Avoid effervescent drinks. They increase absorption of alcohol into the blood.
    • Drink a lot of water. This dilutes alcohol in the blood.
    • Avoid diet beverages. Artificial sweeteners speed alcohol absorption.

Tips for Drinking in Moderation

    • Standard drinks of beer, wine, and liquor (distilled spirits) have the same amount of pure alcohol.

      hangover jokes
      Standard drinks have equal alcohol.
    • Eat while drinking. 
    • Sip your drinks.
    • Don’t play drinking games. 
    • Have a non-alcoholic drink between alcoholic ones.
    • Pace your drinks. No more than one alcoholic drink per hour. That’s a good rule of thumb.
    • Stick with standard drink sizes. Otherwise, it’s hard to keep track of your intake of pure alcohol.
    • Avoid punches. 
    • Accept an alcoholic drink only when it fits your drinking schedule.

Resources: Hangover Jokes 

Jokes & Trivia Web Pages

Hangover Web Pages

Fun Readings

Reference

1. The very best choice is a high-end vodka. That’s because their producers re-distill them many times. So they’re the clearest of the clear.

 

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